January micro 2023:4

 

When I have a new Tarot, I pull a card a day as a way to learn — though all Tarot is Tarot — the particular character of this one. Recently I got the Crow deck by MJ Cullinane. I love crows, and I liked the artwork: neither too realistic nor too fancy. Today I pull the 8 of Cups: a longing for something beyond the material wealth I have. (I don’t have lots of money, but I have enough of everything else for my needs, and even some emotionally sustaining non-essentials — and that is wealth to me.)

But to take a more spiritual path — what can that mean? I have followed one all my life. At the age of 83, is this a message that death is beckoning? I don’t think I’m afraid to die, but I don’t feel ready yet. And despite the inevitable ageing and slowing, I don’t think my body is at that point either. But perhaps it’s a gradual journey. (Perhaps I need to begin some preparation.)

even with wings

ascending a mountain

must take time?

*

alone except for my cat

I put on the big blue earrings

(deep blue and white, like pottery)

which Angela gave me one birthday

– dressing up for myself

*

night owl texting –

certain friends know

who else roams the dark

Eyes That Won't Meet Mine

'Are you a bee or a wasp?' I think at it. 

As if it senses my unease and responds, it rises from hovering near the jade plant at the edge of my front veranda and heads over to the bushes by the fence. I sip my coffee and read about writing haibun. 

A little later it returns. It lands on a jade leaf, walks underneath it, and strokes the upside with its fine front legs. 

'I'm glad to see you, bee,' I think this time. 

I know they are said to be dying out. If they do, it is further said, we shall all be doomed.

I contemplate the tree growing tall by my fence. I know it's a weed — one I didn't catch and pull out while it was still a baby, and look at it now! It's beautiful. It's hard to know how to serve Nature best.

The wind freshens, the thunder revs up. It's time to go inside. The rain will be humid.

in my living-room

the painting of an angel

a sweet sad face