January micro 2023:5

When I stroke behind her ears

as she settles to sleep,

I love even more than her purr

the ecstatic curl and flex

of one little paw.

*

Sunday breakfast treat —

café style raisin toast

two fat slices

*

I draw Queen of Swords 

the independent woman 

also the widow –

happy to think of Andrew

and what a good life we made

January micro 2023:4

 

When I have a new Tarot, I pull a card a day as a way to learn — though all Tarot is Tarot — the particular character of this one. Recently I got the Crow deck by MJ Cullinane. I love crows, and I liked the artwork: neither too realistic nor too fancy. Today I pull the 8 of Cups: a longing for something beyond the material wealth I have. (I don’t have lots of money, but I have enough of everything else for my needs, and even some emotionally sustaining non-essentials — and that is wealth to me.)

But to take a more spiritual path — what can that mean? I have followed one all my life. At the age of 83, is this a message that death is beckoning? I don’t think I’m afraid to die, but I don’t feel ready yet. And despite the inevitable ageing and slowing, I don’t think my body is at that point either. But perhaps it’s a gradual journey. (Perhaps I need to begin some preparation.)

even with wings

ascending a mountain

must take time?

*

alone except for my cat

I put on the big blue earrings

(deep blue and white, like pottery)

which Angela gave me one birthday

– dressing up for myself

*

night owl texting –

certain friends know

who else roams the dark

Winter Flowers

The winter flowers on the vine are orange, the colour of both trauma and joy (in Colour Healing). There are few left as winter ends. It has been a winter of trauma and joy, reliving the last, when Andrew began his dying, finally making his transition at the beginning of Spring. I pull a Tarot card from the Wildwood deck. The fire in the centre has bright orange flames. The card is called Abundance, meaning reward after long struggle.